Had I wist before I kist
It was now October,and the night air was chill.After looking to see that she was well wrapped up,Knight took her along the hillside path they had ascended so many times in each others company,when doubt was a thing unknown.On reaching the church they found that one side of the tower was,as the vicar had stated,entirely removed,and lying in the shape of rubbish at their feet.The tower on its eastern side still was firm,and might have withstood the shock of storms and the siege of battering years for many a generation even now.They entered by the side-door,went eastward,and sat down by the altar-steps.
The heavy arch spanning the junction of tower and nave formed to-night a black frame to a distant misty view,stretching far westward.Just outside the arch came the heap of fallen stones,then a portion of moonlit churchyard,then the wide and convex sea behind.It was a coup-doeil which had never been possible since the mediaeval masons first attached the old tower to the older church it dignified,and hence must be supposed to have had an interest apart from that of simple moonlight on ancient wall and sea and shore--any mention of which has by this time,it is to be feared,become one of the cuckoo-cries which are heard but not regarded.Rays of crimson,blue,and purple shone upon the twain from the east window behind them,wherein saints and angels vied with each other in primitive surroundings of landscape and sky,and threw upon the pavement at the sittersfeet a softer reproduction of the same translucent hues,amid which the shadows of the two living heads of Knight and Elfride were opaque and prominent blots.Presently the moon became covered by a cloud,and the iridescence died away.
There,it is gone!said Knight.Ive been thinking,Elfride,that this place we sit on is where we may hope to kneel together soon.But I am restless and uneasy,and you know why.
Before she replied the moonlight returned again,irradiating that portion of churchyard within their view.It brightened the near part first,and against the background which the cloud-shadow had not yet uncovered stood,brightest of all,a white tomb--the tomb of young Jethway.
Knight,still alive on the subject of Elfrides secret,thought of her words concerning the kiss that it once had occurred on a tomb in this churchyard.
Elfride,he said,with a superficial archness which did not half cover an undercurrent of reproach,do you know,I think you might have told me voluntarily about that past--of kisses and betrothing--without giving me so much uneasiness and trouble.Was that the tomb you alluded to as having sat on with him?
She waited an instant.Yes,she said.
The correctness of his random shot startled Knight;though,considering that almost all the other memorials in the churchyard were upright headstones upon which nobody could possibly sit,it was not so wonderful.
Elfride did not even now go on with the explanation her exacting lover wished to have,and her reticence began to irritate him as before.He was inclined to read her a lecture.
Why dont you tell me all?he said somewhat indignantly.
Elfride,there is not a single subject upon which I feel more strongly than upon this--that everything ought to be cleared up between two persons before they become husband and wife.See how desirable and wise such a course is,in order to avoid disagreeable contingencies in the form of discoveries afterwards.
For,Elfride,a secret of no importance at all may be made the basis of some fatal misunderstanding only because it is discovered,and not confessed.They say there never was a couple of whom one had not some secret the other never knew or was intended to know.This may or may not be true;but if it be true,some have been happy in spite rather than in consequence of it.
If a man were to see another man looking significantly at his wife,and she were blushing crimson and appearing startled,do you think he would be so well satisfied with,for instance,her truthful explanation that once,to her great annoyance,she accidentally fainted into his arms,as if she had said it voluntarily long ago,before the circumstance occurred which forced it from her?Suppose that admirer you spoke of in connection with the tomb yonder should turn up,and bother me.It would embitter our lives,if I were then half in the dark,as I am now!
Knight spoke the latter sentences with growing force.
It cannot be,she said.
Why not?he asked sharply.
Elfride was distressed to find him in so stern a mood,and she trembled.In a confusion of ideas,probably not intending a wilful prevarication,she answered hurriedly--
If hes dead,how can you meet him?
Is he dead?Oh,thats different altogether!said Knight,immensely relieved.But,let me see--what did you say about that tomb and him?
Thats his tomb,she continued faintly.
What!was he who lies buried there the man who was your lover?
Knight asked in a distinct voice.
Yes;and I didnt love him or encourage him.
But you let him kiss you--you said so,you know,Elfride.
She made no reply.
Why,said Knight,recollecting circumstances by degrees,you surely said you were in some degree engaged to him--and of course you were if he kissed you.And now you say you never encouraged him.And I have been fancying you said--I am almost sure you did--that you were sitting with him ON that tomb.Good God!he cried,suddenly starting up in anger,are you telling me untruths?Why should you play with me like this?Ill have the right of it.Elfride,we shall never be happy!Theres a blight upon us,or me,or you,and it must be cleared off before we marry.Knight moved away impetuously as if to leave her.
She jumped up and clutched his arm Dont go,Harry--dont!
Tell me,then,said Knight sternly.And remember this,no more fibs,or,upon my soul,I shall hate you.Heavens!that I should come to this,to be made a fool of by a girls untruths----
