多年以来，我一直认为这是一个苛刻的评判。妈妈一直都是这样，其他的孩子怎么做无关紧要，唯一重要的是，我做了什么，是否做得很出色。
通常，只有等我们也成为了父母，才会理解优秀父母的智慧。妈妈的人生哲学伴随着我度过整个人生。不要在乎大多数人做了什么，他们常常会走上错误的道路。如果你随波逐流，最后的归宿只会和众人一样。众人的道路很宽，却很拥挤；接受人生考验的道路很狭窄，却少有人走。
JustWait等着瞧
Anonymous
When I was pregnant with my son， I met a friend for lunch. She hugged me， stepped back， looked over my growing belly， then asked me how I was“weathering”through the nine months. I laughed as I told her that I‘d only thrown up once and that had been when I went deep sea fishing to interview the captain of the boat， so it really didn’t count.
“No problems， just sleeping a lot.”I said.
“Just wait and see，”she said，“When that baby‘s born， sleep will be a sweet memory.”I smiled and told her that after seventeen years in a relationship without children， I was aware that there would be adjustments to make， but I was willing to make them. She laughed at me. I changed the subject.
When Eddie was born， I wouldn’t let the nurse take him to the nursery. I wanted him with me. He spent most of our stay sleeping on my chest. We‘d doze for a while then wake up and breast-feed. Doze andfeed. Doze and feed. Caring for him secured a strong connection between the two of us and helped prepare us for what lay ahead when we left the hospital. Everyday living！
“Just wait until you get home，”the nurse warned，“He’ll be fussy if he‘s not sleeping with you.”
“We’ve just met.”I teased.“I was hoping to take it one day at a time.”
The first night home Eddie slept in his bassinet. He slept for five hours before waking for a feeding.
Months later a man at the store asked me how old Eddie was. “Ten months old.”I said proudly.
“Just wait until he‘s old enough to ask for money.”He said sarcastically.
“Just wait until he’s running.”I‘d hear in passing， as he held my hand and carefully practiced walking.
This“just wait and see”advice was everywhere. “Just wait until he’s talking.”
“Just wait until he has nightmares.” “Just wait until he refuses to eat.” “Just wait until he‘s dating.” “Just wait until he’s driving.”
Just wait a minute！ What am I waiting for and what happens then？ Did“just wait”imply that I‘d be sorry when the“just wait”happened？ Did it mean that I was going to be miserable sooner or later so I better just wipe that happy to be a parent smile off my face right now and get down to the matter of being tortured and join the club？
As time passed I’d hear a“just wait”statement and cringe as I‘d turn to face the voice with a set smile and no response. What could I sayto these people； who as I saw it， apparently felt bitter about some child in their lives.
I wondered how we’d like it if our children came into the world armed with their own set of just waits to hang on us. Just wait until your parents say no. Just wait until your mom embarrasses you in public. Just wait until you have to earn your allowance. We‘re lucky that our children don’t speak our language when they‘re born. If they compared notes with their siblings， they’d most likely beg to be sent back to the dimension they came from.
It‘s been six years since Eddie was born. We’ve had many opportunities to learn new things together. When he started to run， I found I could keep him in sight. I will confess that I bought him a pair of shoes that flashed a red light when he ran. He loved them and I could see which way he went at night. When he started to talk and talk and talk， I listen and smiled to myself remembering the“just wait”regarding speech. Non stop at times， but then so do I.
Nightmares show up from time to time. I‘ve found him weeping in bed， still asleep， so I hold him until he can sleep peacefully again. If he’s been woken by a dream， he just shows up at the side of my bed. He climbs in and feels comforted not to be alone. Twenty minutes later I take him back to his bed. That“just wait”takes some understanding. Loss of sleep， and a bit of snuggling to get through， but it‘s very doable.
Refusing to eat has been interesting， but we’ve spoken about balance in his body since he was very young and so far we‘ve made it through each mealtime with vegetable getting eaten and no one feeling worse for wear.
Dating and driving？ We’ll get there.
But wait， there‘s more. I was given the standard“just wait and see”
regarding another child. All my good luck and positive attitude was based on having one child. Our son Aaron was born and once again he stayed with me until we went home. I knew adjustment would come with another child， but I really had no idea. The only common thing that he shares with our first born has been his looks and the fact that he slept for five hours the first night home. Nothing else has been the same and our lives have been altered to a new reality. Aaron’s reality！ I still feel lucky and have not jumped on the“just wait and see”bandwagon and don‘t plan on doing so any time in the future.
You see， there have been many lessons in raising my sons and days I’d like to throw back like a fish. I believe it‘s working well because I’ve surrendered into parenthood and consider it my best work， right now. I‘ve approached each situation acknowledging my own stuff， my own fears， rather than expecting my children to be better than me. Knowing that what I do is what they learn not what I say to do， then showing them that I can’t achieve it but expect them to.
The real prize is that it‘s never too late to begin. Eddie and Aaron are the children of an evolving mom. Come to think of it， I probably owe the“just waiters”a word of thanks. In my effort to understand the reason behind their comments I’ve come to know my life as a parent is a constant exercise in thinking before speaking. Responding instead of reacting. Getting to know myself and be willing to make choices that lead me and my children toward our true and best us.
Not long ago I was speaking in a woman‘s group about Eddie and our learning experiences， when one of the ladies said，“Just wait until he comes home after being away for a few years， throws his arms around you and says：’Thank you for being my mom.‘”
Now that’s a“just wait”， I‘m willing to wait for.
在与孩子的相处中，我选择最爱。
参考翻译（佚名）
在我怀孕的时候，有一次我和朋友共进午餐。她拥抱了我，又向后退了几步，上上下下地打量我挺起的大肚子，然后问我这九个月是怎么熬过来的。我笑着告诉她这几个月我只吐过一次，而且那次是因为我在深海的渔船上采访船长，所以这不算什么。
“一切尚好，只是睡得比较多。”我说。“等着瞧吧，”她说，“宝宝出生以后，酣睡只能是个美好的回忆了。”我微笑着告诉她，经过婚后17年没有孩子的生活，我意识到要作些改变了，但我是心甘情愿的。她对我的话不以为然。我也转换了话题。
